Email Jim at jim.thompson@ipulpmedia.com
By Fos, the Rat
Once again, I am glad to be back, thanks to Mr. Jim. This is the twelfth year of Pulp Rats! August seems to come earlier and earlier each year. As I mentioned last year, I have been given permission to open up the world of rat adjudication a bit further.
Let's look in on a preliminary proceeding.
"Order! Order!" The Head Supreme Rat gaveled the court into session.
"What do we have today clerk?"
"It is a case where a Big Thing was released from his employer."
"Can I be introduced to the attorneys?"
"I am Ms. Dent, for the plaintiffs, Your Honor."
"And I am Mr. Schmerr for the defendants, Your Honor."
"What is this case about? Plaintiff, you go first."
"Yes, your honor."
"Ms. Dent, can you explain this case to me?"
Ms. Dent, "On the 3rd of April, this year, Big Paper, who I represent, discharged Mr. D'geecht."
Head Supreme Rat, "What was Mr. D'geecht's role and why was he discharged?'
Ms. Dent, "Mr. D'geecht was the head of the IT Department. He was on probation for not meeting performance standards. He had been given several warnings and was finally discharged."
Head Supreme Rat, "Seems straight forward. What is the problem?"
Ms. Dent, "Well, about three hours after Mr. D'geecht left the premises, the entire computer network went down. It took a week to get it back up. Costs have been estimated at over $200 million."
Head Supreme Rat, "Mr. Schmerr, do you agree with this statement of Ms. Dent?"
Mr. Schmerr, "No, your honor, we do not agree. Mr. D'geecht was certainly discharged, but any implications that he was involved with Ms. Dent's other statements are vigorously denied."
Head Supreme Rat, "Clerk, put this case on the trial docket."
Be safe and we will talk next week.
Podcast of this column available here.
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